Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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