i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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