Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
