you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
