I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
