I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
