about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
