Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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