I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
