It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
