It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
