Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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