all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
