How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
should my penis look like a turkey
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
