tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
