i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
