She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize