If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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