I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
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