dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
