ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
