Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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