I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
