she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
