if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
