Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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