Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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