i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
