i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Randomize
