Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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