Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
