i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I have already put on my inside pants.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
