Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
