my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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