Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
