dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you didnt know i had herpes?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Less talking, more tequila
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
