in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
