i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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