things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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