is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My penis needs a shock collar
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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