I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
