Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
