I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
