All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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