I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
