I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
