i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
