remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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