So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
