You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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