you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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