she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize