you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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