bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
