if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I need a beard to bite.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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