I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
