just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
