tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
