is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
