Got a toothbrush?
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
