She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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