a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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