FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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